Good thing he's so cute

We found him again sleeping by the gate to his room. Twice actually. Once when he fell asleep there before we went to bed ourselves and then he was there again this morning. Tom had gotten up with him (again!) at around 3am and stayed in there till around 5 but Nicky wouldn't lie down and sleep. So Tom came back to bed and we just listened to Nicky's repertoire till he conked out right there.

And MAN was he mad when we woke him up at 8:30am! Tom was actually a bit gleeful to get to wake Nicky up for a change. (only fair right) Well Nicky pitched an absolute fit in the car on the way to work this morning. And didn't even want to kiss mommy goodbye. Poor kid.

Now I'm at work waiting for them to come pick me up. I should have left at 5:30 but Nicky JUST went down for a nap at about 4:45pm. So Tom's going to aim to pick me up at 6:30.

I hope he sleeps tonight!

Where in I keep typing and hope Nicky goes to sleep

After putting Nicky to bed, it's become a nightly occurrence for him to come open his door, stand at the gate we have in his doorway and try to talk us into coming back to lie down with him while he falls asleep.

He's actually quite good at this verbal manipulation and adds new material almost daily. Some of his favorites:

"Daddy, more cuddles?"
"Lie down?"
"Come back!"
"Come on"
"You promise!"
"What are you doing?"
"Where are you?"
"I NEED you!"
"Binky!" (after throwing all four of his binkies into the hallway)
"Toot toot!"
An alarm impression (maybe an alarm clock, maybe a fire alarm?)
"Poopoo?"
and his #1 way to express irritation with someone..."You Stupid."

It seems like only yesterday I was anticipating the joys of his learning to talk and create sentences of his own.

Tonight though he did do something cute. He was looking out the window while Daddy drove to pick up dinner. He said "Hi cow!"
I was pretty sure there wasn't a cow walking down our street, but I asked him if there was a cow outside. He said "no," but then said "Hi there cow. Mooo!"

So I went to look outside. In the yard across the street was a dog with a white face and grey body along with a black and tan dog of questionable heritage. He then switched to saying "Hi puppy!" and "Give kisses?" He just loves dogs.

For a minute the dogs went out of sight into some greenery and I said "Where'd they go?" Nicky said "where they go?" and then, lowering his head, he said softly, mournfully "Oh dear. It's my fault."

He's just so funny. Of course I told him it wasn't his fault, and then pointed them out when they reappeared. He was just being dramatic. What a ham.

He does stuff like this all the time now. I put up a bunch of new movies, and several of them (ok,six actually) are of him during a single morning when he dismantled the sofa and played with the cushions for something like 30-45 minutes straight. (Hey I had like 9 of these, and I narrowed it down to 6 AND even cropped some of them!)

In one of them he climbs to the top of the stack of cushions, very precariously, raises one arm high and declares "Super Hero!" We have no idea where that came from.

He's also getting really good at following some instructions (when he feels like it). He helps feed the dogs sometimes by gathering their bowls for daddy and then putting their full bowls down in their places. This is great for the dogs too. They associate him with bringing them food and see him as a source for good stuff rather than competion for food or as the constant annoyance he can be. One of his favorite things to do is pull tails and feet, sit on them, put his head on them, and hug them too tight. We tell him to stop, or make him stop. And he apologizes to them, but we have to find a better way.

One thing I tried the other day was an actual time out. Benjamin was with us in the living room and he was tugging on Bobo's tail (Bobo is Benjamin's nickname). I told him to stop at least twice, and I know he heard me and understood. But he just looked at me, still holding the tail. I got up and put him nose facing into the corner behind the front door and told him to stay there for two minutes. (One minute for each year of age is the rule of thumb.) It took a few times of moving him back before he got that he was not to move. But eventually he did a full two minutes in the corner, well with at least one foot in the corner. (Baby steps!) After his time was up I told him why he was in time out. I emphasized that he was in time out for not obeying when mommy told him to do something and that he has to listen to mommy and daddy. He was hurting Benjamin's tail and when mommy said to stop he has to stop right then. While hurting (well sort of, but mostly annoying) the dog isn't ok, the punishment was really for not obeying. I had to think that through myself while he was in timeout.

It seemed to make an impression and I think we need to use it consistently. It's hard though. Nagging and repeating are so much "easier" but of course they're not effective. (Otherwise we wouldn't have to keep doing it!) I think to do them most effectively we need a designated time out spot and a timer though. Have to pick one up soon. Till then we'll just use the real clock.

Hmm, it's been quiet in his room for about 20 minutes now. I think he finally went to sleep. It only took 2-3 times of putting him back in bed tonight.

It's just not fair.

It's been a heartbreaking few days. As some of you know, I've been on a mom's message board since 2005. I joined a group of women who were all newly pregnant and due in March 2006. We got kicked off one board, moved to another, and then another. And then that board split, as seems to be a natural occurrence when a board gets really large.

These women and I have been online friends now for three years. We've supported each other through the happiest of times and the saddest of times. Most of us gave birth to healthy babies. Some had additional challenges, with pregnancy complications, premature labor, and genetic disorders. A few of us had miscarriages or our babies were stillborn. One lost her husband in a tragic motorcycle accident. And now, horribly, one has lost her son.

It's been hard trying to wrap my brain around how something like this could happen. Or maybe what I mean is "why" something like this could happen. I mean, sure I know as well as most that accidents happen all the time. But for an accident to have such tragic results is just so unfair.

I know you're thinking "Duh, who said life is fair?" But I suppose I still hold onto that childish naivety that life is actually, in the end, fair. That in some cosmic way karma keeps score and the good are rewarded while the bad are punished.

And Henry was very, very good. And even more important, his big sister is too.

Please think of the Berlin family today as they do what no parent should ever have to do.

Rock my world why don't you.

So last night Tom made a fabulous dinner of lamb, potatoes, and a spinach salad. He also made brussel sprouts and corn.

For the record, I've always hated brussel sprouts. Always. It's one of those constants in life.

But I thought I'd be brave and try one, you know just to say I did. And guess what.

I liked it.

What the heck? Is there just nothing sacred?

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Notice the new link over on the right? If I had a radio station, that's what it would sound like. Probably Liz will remember most of those songs. Ah, a trip down memory lane.

The Big Boy Bed

I managed to take a little movie of Nicky this morning sleeping in his big boy bed. it's hard to see because it was still pretty dark in his room, but I turned on the light for a minute for you. And I showed how we have the beanbag on the floor for me to sit in and his crib in the closet for now.



And just in case you're one of the folks who are wondering, tomorrow I take a HPT. I don't even know if the clomid worked yet though. My temps are all over the place, but they may have been affected by my CPAP machine. So I'll take an HPT every three days or so until the cycle is over.